Jane recalled vividly the nineteen fifties... in fact, she recalled (though not nearly as vividly) the one-hundred-fifties. Jane and Joseph had been around for a long, long time. Back in the early hundreds, it was much, much easier to dispose of bodies and to hide one's tracks. These days it was much more difficult, what with the advent of cadaver dogs, DNA testing etc.. Although the modern science of fingerprints had begun in around the 1820's, and finger and handprints had actually been used as signatures in legal documents since the T'Ang Dynasty in China, (618-907) and in ancient Rome (both of which, Jane remembered with varying clarity), the national database has only been around since 1989. They also take their missing persons a lot more seriously these days than they did in the earlier days of the last millennium. Needless to say, this has thrown a bit of a monkey wrench into the works. Jane and Joseph had crafted a fine art out of eluding authorities. It had been easy in the Medieval Era, to elude the fanatics and the villagers and their torches… the Salem Witch hunt ended when they had made the last of them into ‘long pig’ served them up to the unwitting villagers … which method they’d also used many years prior, during the Inquisition. These days however, eluding the authorities was a bit trickier, as a 50 cal to the head from a sniper rifle would end it all pretty quickly… presumably anyway. There was no documentation of an immortal walking around without his or her head; yet, if one was immortal, wouldn’t it imply just that; incapable of death? Jane didn’t want to find out, so they continued to do what they had to do to survive and still evade capture or serious injury. At the moment though, Jane inhaled the pleasant scent of the smoky ‘bacon’. Jane and Joseph grinned broadly at each other and then simultaneously recited the lines from the ‘beggin strips’ dog treat commercial. ‘tasty… chewy... smoky…BACON!!!’ Then they both burst into peals of wild, raucous laughter. With Joseph adding ‘I’d get it myself but I don’t have thumbs!’ and here Jane nearly doubled over laughing. They loved that commercial.
Jane and Joseph gave eachother a look and within seconds they had drained Dick of every last drop of blood in his body. Jane and Joseph sat back and laughed heartily. 'I've been wanting to do that for ages' Jane sighed contentedly. 'Yeah, me too.' Laughed Joseph, wiping the blood from the corners of his mouth. 'hoo boy am I full.' 'Yeah..' Jane smiled, patting her belly. 'but we can't just leave the body lying there.. let's strip him for parts.'
It was breakfast time at the Johnson's house which could only mean one thing; bacon, eggs and fresh hot biscuits with butter were waiting to be eaten. Mornings like these made Jane feel like she was back in the nineteen fifties.
Jane recalled vividly the nineteen fifties... in fact, she recalled (though not nearly as vividly) the one-hundred-fifties. Jane and Joseph had been around for a long, long time. Back in the early hundreds, it was much, much easier to dispose of bodies and to hide one's tracks. These days it was much more difficult, what with the advent of cadaver dogs, DNA testing etc..
ReplyDeleteAlthough the modern science of fingerprints had begun in around the 1820's, and finger and handprints had actually been used as signatures in legal documents since the T'Ang Dynasty in China, (618-907) and in ancient Rome (both of which, Jane remembered with varying clarity), the national database has only been around since 1989. They also take their missing persons a lot more seriously these days than they did in the earlier days of the last millennium. Needless to say, this has thrown a bit of a monkey wrench into the works. Jane and Joseph had crafted a fine art out of eluding authorities. It had been easy in the Medieval Era, to elude the fanatics and the villagers and their torches… the Salem Witch hunt ended when they had made the last of them into ‘long pig’ served them up to the unwitting villagers … which method they’d also used many years prior, during the Inquisition.
These days however, eluding the authorities was a bit trickier, as a 50 cal to the head from a sniper rifle would end it all pretty quickly… presumably anyway. There was no documentation of an immortal walking around without his or her head; yet, if one was immortal, wouldn’t it imply just that; incapable of death? Jane didn’t want to find out, so they continued to do what they had to do to survive and still evade capture or serious injury.
At the moment though, Jane inhaled the pleasant scent of the smoky ‘bacon’. Jane and Joseph grinned broadly at each other and then simultaneously recited the lines from the ‘beggin strips’ dog treat commercial. ‘tasty… chewy... smoky…BACON!!!’ Then they both burst into peals of wild, raucous laughter. With Joseph adding ‘I’d get it myself but I don’t have thumbs!’ and here Jane nearly doubled over laughing. They loved that commercial.
Making people into bacon was a great way to dispose of bodies!
ReplyDeleteThen Dick walked in. "Jane, is that you?" He saw Joseph. "You son of a..."
ReplyDeleteJane and Joseph gave eachother a look and within seconds they had drained Dick of every last drop of blood in his body.
ReplyDeleteJane and Joseph sat back and laughed heartily.
'I've been wanting to do that for ages' Jane sighed contentedly.
'Yeah, me too.' Laughed Joseph, wiping the blood from the corners of his mouth. 'hoo boy am I full.'
'Yeah..' Jane smiled, patting her belly. 'but we can't just leave the body lying there.. let's strip him for parts.'