Even though I had known where the money had come from, I took it. I was sure it had been laundered, but I had done nothing illegal on my end to obtain it. Instead I would...
stuff it all into my underpants. Surely no one would notice if I walked out of the laudromat with all of this money cleverly concealed under my clothes. I pulled one fistful after another out of the unguarded dryer and continued to stuff it into my underpants.
Unable to restrain my urge any longer, I waddled out to my car, underpants bursting at the seams with the once-crisp, now somewhat steamy and yet still kinda pointy and rather uncomfortable bills. I walked with some difficulty toward my rusting, orange Gremlin, opened the creaky door and after some effort, and several attempts to reposition myself, I swung my right leg in, and managed to wedge my large, lumpy posterior in the driver's seat. The problem now was pulling my other leg inside the car. I wished there another safe, logical place to hide the money, but there wasn't. I struggled for some time, trying to pull my other leg into the car, all the while serenaded by the exhilarating sound of dollar bills rustling in my underpants. Finally I had my left leg in the car… most uncomfortably and bordering painful, but my leg was in… now all I had to do was get the door shut… or maybe no one would notice if I drove to Walmart with the door open? I pondered this for a while.
stuff it all into my underpants. Surely no one would notice if I walked out of the laudromat with all of this money cleverly concealed under my clothes. I pulled one fistful after another out of the unguarded dryer and continued to stuff it into my underpants.
ReplyDeleteAfter days of concealing it in my underpants--being too afraid to hide it anywhere else--I felt a strong urge to start spending.
ReplyDeleteUnable to restrain my urge any longer, I waddled out to my car, underpants bursting at the seams with the once-crisp, now somewhat steamy and yet still kinda pointy and rather uncomfortable bills. I walked with some difficulty toward my rusting, orange Gremlin, opened the creaky door and after some effort, and several attempts to reposition myself, I swung my right leg in, and managed to wedge my large, lumpy posterior in the driver's seat. The problem now was pulling my other leg inside the car. I wished there another safe, logical place to hide the money, but there wasn't. I struggled for some time, trying to pull my other leg into the car, all the while serenaded by the exhilarating sound of dollar bills rustling in my underpants. Finally I had my left leg in the car… most uncomfortably and bordering painful, but my leg was in… now all I had to do was get the door shut… or maybe no one would notice if I drove to Walmart with the door open? I pondered this for a while.
ReplyDelete