Monday, December 14, 2009

Wanted!


Santa was on the loose. Keeping us all in suspense, no one knew where he was or where he'd strike next...

6 comments:

  1. "We got antoher call on Big Red Suit!" Alerted the officer next to me, hanging up is phone.
    "Where and what was it this time?" I asked cautiously.
    "Just two blocks north of Rosewell Ave. Sir." he replied.
    "He's getting closer...call in the Air Force and take him down. If we have any more thefts Christmas will have to be cancelled."
    "Why would Santa Clause cancel his own holiday? It just doesn't make sense..." answered Rookie sadly.
    "That's exactly it though, he want to cancel hbis own holiday for a reason. All we need to do is find out what that reason is." I replied angrily.
    We waited about twenty minutes, each minutes filled with more calls about Christmas presents being stolen. Then suddenly, we heard a knock on the window next to the cubicals.
    The last thing I saw was a red suit, white beard, and eyes that were filled with such fury-such rage that it was no one but Santa.

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  2. I swung open the door with my gun pointed straight ahead. It wasn't the right santa. Some drunken man in a stupper with red blood shot eyes stood wafting in the cool evening breaze.

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  3. Kaleb Said...
    I thought Santa was a jolly soul.
    i want a burrito for Christmas.

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  4. 'Twas the night before Christmas and Nick's gone berzerk. Turns out, not-so-jolly 'Saint'Nick is a jerk.
    He's stolen our stockings, our gifts and roast beast, he's just like the grinch on a blood-thirsty feast!
    ‘Why’s Santa so angry?’ Asked kids near and far. ‘He’s stolen the rims from my daddy’s new car!’
    The answer is right in his name as you’ll see: Place the ‘N’ in his name on the end and oh me!
    No wonder he dresses in red , head to toe. He comes from the hot place way down, down below!
    You see, my dear children, he lies, now you see! It’s parents who leave you the gifts, and not he!
    He’s angry cuz people have all come to know, that Christmas belongs to another we know; who’s name appears clearly in the day’s name itself, not to some big, fat geezer, disguised as an elf!

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  5. That was a really cool Poem! Great Job!

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  6. The poem, posted in a national news magazine seemed to anger the not-so-jolly fat guy. He was spotted, flying over New York City, laughing as his reindeer dropped their excrement down on the traffic below. Then he soared over the prime shopping areas, throwing what was first thought to be darts, but turned out to be candy canes, (sucked to a fine point) at shoppers, rushing home with their presents. Seventeen people were injured in the assault, three critically.

    The nation was under fire by a terrorist in a flying reindeer-driven sleigh. Our commander-in-chief declared war on 'St Nick' and the entire North Pole. The Marines were deployed and within two weeks had detained 48 elves and what appears to be a troll. Santa's 'toy shop', which turned out to be an assembly line for weapons of mass destruction has been captured. Also found were elves, feverishly sucking candy canes to fine points.
    We've just received word that Santa is now flying over Washington D.C. Several SR-22 Blackhawks have been deployed and are in hot pursuit of the sleigh.
    Rudolph has been taken out! Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer! Now Vixen! Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen are still active. The order to fire at will and take them out was in effect.
    Two Blackhawks had SC in their sites. The first pilot was ordered to get a bead on the reindeer, the second, to target SC. They fired on the enemy; the first taking out the remaining reindeer, the second, training a laser-guided missile at the sleigh.
    Moments later, well-done venison rained from the sky. Pieces of red and white fluff, bits of singed white beard and a nearly incinerated hat littered the landscape.
    ‘The enemy has been neutralized.’ The commanding officer reported to the General. The report was echoed all over the news and the world breathed a sigh of relief. Santa Clause was finally dead.

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